IS there anyone in the world you like totally? As in, approve everything about that person, all the time? Even if you are wildly, obsessively in all consuming love? Even if you have your rose-tinted glasses pushed right back up your nose? Can you honestly say there is nothing at all about your loved one you would rather change?
Surely not. It cannot be possible to like everything about even the one person you love most in the world

this is one of the best way to calm down when you feel anger rising rapidly Anger is nothing but misdirected energy says Dr Rachna Singh, lifestyle management expert at Artemis Health Institute, Gurgaon. So before you throw a cup at your partner or chase the car that nicked you while overtaking from the wrong side, start breathing slowly and deeply and count to 100. This will keep you from doing anything dramatic. “Deep breathing for 2-3 minutes at this time will help distract you and bring adrenalin levels down,” adds Dr Singh.

 HAVE WATER/JUICE/CHOCOLATE: Sipping water when you are really angry helps calm you down, says clin- ical psychologist and psychotherapist Seema Hingorrany “Many people feel irritable when they are hungry so eating a piece of chocolate helps provide your body with some food. Chocolate also activates feel-good hormones, so two pieces might do wonders tor your mood.” Sipping water or juice also helps distract you and your mind moves from negative to positive thoughts.

 CALL A TIME OUT: sometimes, in an argument with a friend or partner, you may say something in the heat of the moment that you will certainly regret later. At these times, it is best if you remove yourself from the situation. “Excuse yourself, wash your face and return to the discussion after 5-10 minutes. When you return you wn find yourself much cooler and calmer and more capable of dealing with the situation calmly,” says Dr Singh. She adds that this technique works well also while dealing with kids throwing tantrums or teenagers who flare up at their parents. “Send them to their bedrooms for 10 minutes. The kids cool down considerably,” she says.

 VISUALISE: When you feel the anger rising, visualise something that calms you down. “It could be a soothing waterfall, a calm sea or even walking on cold grass,” says Hingorrany “Even a symbol like the Buddha will work because it helps shift your mind from irritability to calmness.” You can also chant a mantra that will help bring you out of the negative spiral you have entered. If you are a controlling personality you are more likely to explode in anger than if you are not. So it will also help to consciously remember that there are some things you can control and some things you cannot.

VENTILATE: This simply means that whenever you are really angry about something, before reacting violently to the cause of that anger or instead of letting it fester inside you, call a friend, partner or parent to vent your feelings. “The saying ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’ means something. When you discuss something you are angry about with a friend or partner, you reiterate your thought process aloud. This helps you calm down and also manage to see things more clearly”.

BY colleen braganza

Source : HT

What we have created individually and collectively is a world where we believe we are each a separate entity from one another and separate from the very planet that sustains us.
   Because we believe we are separate, we go by the philosophy of “I have to look out for myself,” therefore, i will do whatever it takes to ensure i have enough of whatever i desire. If my desires impinge on your needs, my desires take precedence, because i am better than you. That is how our world is run today.
   We believe in a system that says i can go outside myself into the physical world and do the things it takes to provide me with the possessions that i lack to make my life better and make me happy.
   For too many of us this system does not work. Material possessions and being better does not seem to bring us inner peace and happiness. These concepts are elusive when you try to achieve them by going outside yourself into the physical world.
   Think about this: Inner peace. Just the very sound of it tells us where to go. You can’t find it outside of yourself; you have to go inside. You have to go to your inner source. The source that gives all of us unbelievable resources, strength and guidance is present in all of us to use on our life journey. We need merely go inside ourselves to find it.
   The key is to go inside yourself and reconnect with your spirit. You see, we are all made up as a threepart being; mind, body and spirit. We are born into this world in perfect balance.
   As we begin learning the ways of our journey we try to live in this balance. But when we encounter the external world, we find that our parents, teachers, and friends, with the
best of intentions, impart on us their interpretations of this physical world, along with all their rules and expectations.
   The spiritual side of us does not conform to these external parameters, but eventually we prioritise our lives around the external rules and expectations placed upon us by others and begin to lose the balance of our spirit in our day-to-day living. We become more and more controlled by the mind and the body.
   So the mind, controlled largely by the ego, and the body, which we identify as our entity, are subject to the physical world with the total ability to create and adapt to it as we like; that is, with “free will.”
   And adapt we do. We buy into the separation mentality that says, “My body and existence is different and separate from yours, and so I must do what is best for me.”
   Only by bringing the spirit back into the equation to create a balanced mind-body-spirit being do we come to understand that we are not separate at all, but that we are all one. Because we are one, what we do to another, we do to ourselves.
   It is the wonderful golden rule that we all know, but which we rarely live by: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
   Wow! Can you imagine what our world would be like if we actually lived by the Golden Rule?
   You can’t live by the golden rule if you thinkthat you are separate from everyone else. Only within the paradigm of oneness can the concept of the golden rule be achieved. This is what nuts and bolts Spirituality is all about.
   When you change the way you live your life you begin to influence others in the way they live their lives. It is in this conscious change that we collectively influence how the human race evolves.
   We are at a crossroads on this planet. We have created the ability to make this planet unlivable to the human life form. If we continue down the path that we are on now we could see this happen in the not too distant future.
   Our present belief system has taken us to this point in our existence. Only a change in our belief system will determine whether we will continue on a path of destruction or allow us to follow another path toward a more enlightened existence.
   You are totally at choice as to which belief system serves you. You can believe that you are separate from all things or you can believe that you are one with all things.
   You are always at choice in what you believe and how you create your life. Nothing has changed.
   The key is to be aware of and understand what serves you, and what does not serve you. It is then up to you to create your life by making conscious choices as to what serves you best.
   The choice is yours. It always has been and always will be.