*Emotional Intelligence* by psychologist and science journalist Daniel Goleman is a groundbreaking work that challenges the traditional understanding of what makes people successful in life.

मनोवैज्ञानिक और विज्ञान पत्रकार डैनियल गोलेमैन द्वारा 1995 में प्रकाशित *भावनात्मक बुद्धिमत्ता* एक अभूतपूर्व कृति है जो लोगों को जीवन में सफल बनाने वाले कारकों की पारंपरिक समझ को चुनौती देती है। हालाँकि लंबे समय से बुद्धि को बुद्धिमत्ता का प्राथमिक माप माना जाता रहा है, गोलेमैन का तर्क है कि भावनात्मक बुद्धिमत्ता—अपनी और दूसरों की भावनाओं को पहचानने, समझने और प्रबंधित करने की हमारी क्षमता—उतनी ही महत्वपूर्ण है।

मनोविज्ञान  के आधार पर, गोलेमैन पाठकों को भावनात्मक बुद्धिमत्ता के पाँच प्रमुख घटकों से परिचित कराते हैं: आत्म-जागरूकता, आत्म-नियमन, प्रेरणा, सहानुभूति और सामाजिक कौशल। वह दर्शाते हैं कि ये गुण व्यक्तिगत और व्यावसायिक दोनों ही स्थितियों में हमारे व्यवहार, संबंधों, निर्णय लेने और प्रदर्शन को कैसे प्रभावित करते हैं।

गोलेमैन के काम ने “स्मार्ट” होने के अर्थ को नए सिरे से परिभाषित करने में मदद की और शिक्षा, नेतृत्व और मानसिक स्वास्थ्य के क्षेत्र में एक वैश्विक आंदोलन को जन्म दिया। वैज्ञानिक अंतर्दृष्टि को व्यावहारिक सलाह के साथ मिलाते हुए, *भावनात्मक बुद्धिमत्ता*  पुनर्विचार करने के लिए आमंत्रित करती है—बाधाओं के रूप में नहीं, बल्कि मानव विकास और जुड़ाव के लिए आवश्यक उपकरणों के रूप में।

Published in 1995, Emotional Intelligence by psychologist and science journalist Daniel Goleman is a groundbreaking work that challenges the traditional understanding of what makes people successful in life. While IQ has long been viewed as the primary measure of intelligence, Goleman argues that emotional intelligence—our ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions and the emotions of others—is equally, if not more, important.

Drawing on research in psychology and neuroscience, Goleman introduces readers to five key components of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. He demonstrates how these traits influence our behavior, relationships, decision-making, and performance in both personal and professional settings.

Goleman’s work helped redefine what it means to be “smart” and sparked a global movement in education, leadership, and mental health. Blending scientific insight with practical advice, Emotional Intelligence invites readers to rethink how they approach emotions—not as obstacles, but as essential tools for human growth and connection.

IS there anyone in the world you like totally? As in, approve everything about that person, all the time? Even if you are wildly, obsessively in all consuming love? Even if you have your rose-tinted glasses pushed right back up your nose? Can you honestly say there is nothing at all about your loved one you would rather change?
Surely not. It cannot be possible to like everything about even the one person you love most in the world

 When you walk by a beggar and ignore his outstretched hand-you are making a personal statement about yourself, how you feel about the beggar or what he is doing.

Giving is the greatest opportunity for you to express who you are and how you see yourself in relationship to others and your environment in the moment.    We make judgments about the situation based on our own perceptions about the one asking for the handout. There are very few of us who could not give him something, if only a few words of encouragement.
   My own personal view is I would much rather teach a man to fish, than to feed him. In other words if there is the beggar, a volunteer who would go out and fish and give his catch to the beggar, and the one who would teach the man to fish — I’d rather give to the one who would teach.
   The beggar doesn’t give a damn about being taught how to fish, if his immediate need is to satisfy his hunger. So giving to the one who would teach is the least desirable course of action in the moment. Giving to the volunteer who would go out and fish and give away his catch does little for the immediate needs of the beggar who is hungry — now.
   Now giving money to the beggar may not resolve the hunger issue if the money is really needed to buy drugs or something else. Can you trust a beggar who has learned to lie and come up with unique stories to get your money-can he be trusted?
   Giving to the one who would go out and fish and give away his catch would seem to be a better solution. However, if there are beggars on the street starving, where is his catch going? How much of the donations going to him are being spent on his overhead and personal expenses-can he be trusted to use the money to return fish to the hungry?
   So maybe it is wiser to use your money to support the one who would do the most good in the first place. Give it to the one who would teach the beggars to fish, so they would no longer have to beg for food and be self sustaining.
   We all have heard about programs to help the hungry. Money donated to these groups or individuals is funnelled into their own pockets and the needy do not receive benefit from your donation. None of these people seem to be responsible.
   There is only one person who can be responsible, and it is you. If you see yourself as a giving or caring person in the moment, then it would be incumbent upon yourself to give when the opportunity comes up-not for the sake of the one who is in need, but because it is an opportunity for you to express yourself as caring or giving. All life declares itself as “this” or “that” in any particular moment. Guilt should never be part of the equation of giving. It is a lie to give when you do not feel liking giving. It is the worst blasphemy-you are denying who you really are and your feelings.
   In the true spirit of giving, you give to yourself-not to the other. You receive the greatest benefit from giving, if it is done from the heart and in the moment. You receive an immediate benefit in the act itself. It is only when your mind starts to contemplate your action do you feel anything else. If you give for yourself first, then it doesn’t matter that your donation is going to be used to buy drugs or cigarettes, alcohol or anything else. Your giving was a true expression of how you felt in the moment-it is life expressing itself in all its glory.
   Over the last six years my web site has cost me thousands to operate and maintain. Three years ago I added a link for those who felt the desire to donate. When I started this site I was aware of the expense of maintaining it and the site survives. I added a link as a gift to those who could see value in the material and purpose of the site. I added it for their benefit, because they have realised the value and wanted to donate something of value in return. It was an opportunity to declare their value and appreciation.
   It was the greatest gift I could give to my visitors. If one appreciates value then one gives value back because they are aware of their own value. If one does not see value, they do not give value back-they see themselves as valueless in the moment. If you do not see yourself as having value, then you cannot give value. Value can only be experienced when it is given. The next time you are given the opportunity to give, respond to your intuition first and act on it immediately. Simply give or do not. But the most interesting thing, is to listen to your internal dialogue if you do not give. It will be a reminder of how connected or disconnected from spirit you really are.
   Who gives the greater gift, the one who is in need or the one who needs to give-the one in need of course? When you stop to think before giving, what you are doing is questioning your own value. This is neither a good thing nor a bad thing-it is a simple recognition of how you see yourself in the moment.
   When you give because it is your true nature to do so, you will always receive an immediate reward-recognition of self. It is the greatest gift anyone can receive-it is a gift of life. Life always seeks to declare itself as “I am”. The donations themselves become meaningless to you-once given, it is no longer yours-neither are any expectations. Donations are not donations if there is an expectationthey become payment in advance for something you seek later.
   Never miss the opportunity to give-you will always receive an immediate reward. If you want to feel good now, go out and look for someone to give to. Give to yourself first and others will benefit.

by :Roy E Klienwachter

source : sunday time

love and intimacy is the cause of all our happiness and sorrow; our well-being and sickness, and of all our pain and healing. To give up one is to give up the other. If you deny yourself love for fear of the pain, you would undoubtedly be depriving yourself of all the ecstasies too. Surely the high that love alone can swing you to is worth the risk of pain?
   And then, there is a beauty to even the pain that love brings. Its beauty lies in the depth of emotion we experience and to the way we respond to it. Some of our most beautiful poetry, songs and art have been the result of emotional turmoil resulting from rejection in love. In fact many creative artists work on perfecting the art of wallowing in melancholy. The world’s greatest love stories have ended in pain and separation. Does that stop us from idolising Romeo & Juliet, Tristan & Isolde, Heer Ranjha or Paro Devdas?
   There are those who say that love never ends. Two individuals may choose to end a relationship, yet if they truly loved each other, the love lasts beyond their togetherness. It is an emotion that you can revisit and wrap around yourself as a comfort in times of loneliness and despair. Love imbues two individuals with a sense of wellbeing, happiness and confidence that rest of the world cannot penetrate. And when they separate, why must they also give up all the positive strokes love brought them?
   Whether or not you are able to smile at shared happy moments later and retain the positive feelings really depends on the way two individuals choose to end their relationship.
   Dr Brian Weiss in Only Love is Real, the book Princess Diana read just before she took off on her last holiday with Dodi, explains that love is a powerful, reuniting energy. If you believe in love as the be-all and end-all of our existence; as both the beginning as well as conclusion of the journey of life, you would agree that we need to go through any number of relationships in life because we learn our life’s lessons through them — “forgiveness, understanding, patience, awareness, non-violence…We have to unlearn other traits, such as f e a r … a n ge r … . g r e e d … h at r e d … pride… ego which result from old conditioning.’
   If that’s so, then the very purpose of the beginning and ending of a relationship must be to enable us to learn valuable lessons. And, if we don’t understand that, we would be doomed to a series of loves that keep ending in grief!
   Love sharpens our senses and mental faculties. It increases our capacity for giving as well as receiving emotion. Love brings with it enlightenment and a lightness of being. And when love creeps away, it leaves us with a depth of emotion that is just as meaningful and necessary to our existence, to the very fabric of our lives…
   I hold it true, whate’er befall;
   I feel it, when I sorrow most;
   ‘Tis better to have loved and lost
   Than never to have loved at all.
   — Lord Tennyson

 by       : vinita dawra nangia

source : timeslife.