EACH time someone at office asks me for leave, they look hesitant and guilty. I cannot figure out why, because I have never refused anybody leave. I can see no reason for doing so! Even more surprising, almost always the request is accompanied by, I will do some extra stories before I go on leave
That leaves me amused as well as foxed. Why would anyone wish to work extra hard before they leave for fun? Wouldnt they rather unwind and get into the mood for holiday? But then, when it is time for me to take leave, I find myself doing the same! Working extra hard, trying to smooth over creases that havent appeared yet, staying connected not just till the last minute but even in the car or plane on my way out, till I am physically pulled away from the laptop and Blackberry by my family!
Not only are we guilty about our own holidays, we also grudge others theirs. As soon as a prominent politician or bureaucrat proceeds on a holiday, we start hearing murmurs of how the country is in such a dire strait and all our leaders can do is holiday (that too probably on public exchequer)! No sooner does a Bollywood star travel abroad than we start hearing gossip about who has accompanied him and how he
will certainly announce a break-up with his current partner soon as he returns!
Fun is somehow just not ingrained into our system, nor is it accorded a valued place in our cultural ethos. Duty and responsibility take precedence over everything
else. Enjoyment is an excess we are taught to do without. Our epics extol the virtues of duty. All characters go through hardships and are never shown having fun, almost as if greatness must meet vicissitudes! Watch any television serial. Each one has elders frowning upon youngsters who attempt to step out from within the family fold for a meal outside, to watch a film, or to go off on a holiday. Aisa toh kabhi nahi hota hamare yahan is the constant refrain. The entire effort seems to be focused on not letting anyone break away from set moulds and the call of duty, not even for a short while, lest they be enticed away forever!
Years ago on a visit to Australia, I visited an international magazine office one Friday afternoon only to find it deserted by all except the editor with whom I had an appointment. Seeing my surprise, she smiled and said, Friday afternoon!

it really is not selfish to consider your own happiness as your top priority for the following three reasons.

You are importantIt is true. You are an important person. I don’t care about your profession, employment status, or income. You are important. Look back at your past. Think about how different the world around you might be if you had not been born. How has your life impacted others? Don’t dismiss small contributions as unimportant because the truth is that it is often these many small changes that lead to a greater good.
   Now think about your life right now. How many people depend on you among your family, friends, and community? If you stayed in bed tomorrow how many lives would be affected by your absence?
   Now think about your future. What potential exists for your life to impact the lives of others? Think about your home and family, your friends and community, and your professional life. Don’t think about probabilities but rather possibilities. You have the potential to change many lives just by being you and living your life. You are important because you are the sum total of all these effects: your past, your present, and your future. What you have done, what you are doing, and what you can do in the future are all the elements that make you an important and valuable person who deserves to be happy.

Your happiness people aroundWhile your family and friends should not depend on you to make them happy it is very true that if you are unhappy you can make it much more difficult for others around you to be happy.
   There is an old saying that frequently crops up on sitcoms and tee shirts, “If Momma Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy.” This is often good for a laugh but we all know it is true. If a parent is unhappy then often the rest of the household will be unhappy too.
   It only takes one bad apple to spoil the whole barrel, as another the old saying goes, and this is true whenever any group of humans gathers together. If one friend or family member is not happy then their unhappiness can spread to infect the others in the group.
   You deserve to be happy for yourself but you should also strive for happiness so if you are going to spread a mood then it will be a good one.

Your happiness affects the worldHow many times have you been simply going through life, not really in a good or bad mood, and then someone took a moment to give you a smile. What happened to your mood? Did you smile back? Another old saying is that smiles are contagious and this may be a very powerful argument for your own personal happiness.
   Can you imagine possessing the power to spread smiles? You do not need to imagine it because you already possess that power.
   You simply need to get yourself into the habit of smiling. Smile at your loved ones, smile at your friends, and smile at strangers on the street, and soon you will be making a strong contribution to make the world a happier place.
   Your happiness is important because you are a significant person, your mood impacts your family and friends, and your happiness affects the world. 
 By  :  Deanna Mascle is a teacher, coach and freelance writer in the USSource : sunday times 

love and intimacy is the cause of all our happiness and sorrow; our well-being and sickness, and of all our pain and healing. To give up one is to give up the other. If you deny yourself love for fear of the pain, you would undoubtedly be depriving yourself of all the ecstasies too. Surely the high that love alone can swing you to is worth the risk of pain?
   And then, there is a beauty to even the pain that love brings. Its beauty lies in the depth of emotion we experience and to the way we respond to it. Some of our most beautiful poetry, songs and art have been the result of emotional turmoil resulting from rejection in love. In fact many creative artists work on perfecting the art of wallowing in melancholy. The world’s greatest love stories have ended in pain and separation. Does that stop us from idolising Romeo & Juliet, Tristan & Isolde, Heer Ranjha or Paro Devdas?
   There are those who say that love never ends. Two individuals may choose to end a relationship, yet if they truly loved each other, the love lasts beyond their togetherness. It is an emotion that you can revisit and wrap around yourself as a comfort in times of loneliness and despair. Love imbues two individuals with a sense of wellbeing, happiness and confidence that rest of the world cannot penetrate. And when they separate, why must they also give up all the positive strokes love brought them?
   Whether or not you are able to smile at shared happy moments later and retain the positive feelings really depends on the way two individuals choose to end their relationship.
   Dr Brian Weiss in Only Love is Real, the book Princess Diana read just before she took off on her last holiday with Dodi, explains that love is a powerful, reuniting energy. If you believe in love as the be-all and end-all of our existence; as both the beginning as well as conclusion of the journey of life, you would agree that we need to go through any number of relationships in life because we learn our life’s lessons through them — “forgiveness, understanding, patience, awareness, non-violence…We have to unlearn other traits, such as f e a r … a n ge r … . g r e e d … h at r e d … pride… ego which result from old conditioning.’
   If that’s so, then the very purpose of the beginning and ending of a relationship must be to enable us to learn valuable lessons. And, if we don’t understand that, we would be doomed to a series of loves that keep ending in grief!
   Love sharpens our senses and mental faculties. It increases our capacity for giving as well as receiving emotion. Love brings with it enlightenment and a lightness of being. And when love creeps away, it leaves us with a depth of emotion that is just as meaningful and necessary to our existence, to the very fabric of our lives…
   I hold it true, whate’er befall;
   I feel it, when I sorrow most;
   ‘Tis better to have loved and lost
   Than never to have loved at all.
   — Lord Tennyson

 by       : vinita dawra nangia

source : timeslife.